Monthly Archives: May 2016
The worst thing about falling is staying down even after falling. The wisest move is to get up immediately before anyone can see you. At one time I fell in town the ‘big’ whole me. The unfortunate thing is that there were so many men surrounding me. It took a second for me to fall on my behind and a quarter of that second to get on my feet.
The instinct that comes to mind after falling is to get back up again. The journey doesn’t continue but stands still awaiting you in your fallen state. Behind every strong individual, there was falling and more at one point in life. The down moments we face can either make us or break us. Rather what you do after you’ve fallen, makes you, or breaks you.
I love people with a story. I always get enticed by a successful person who has a story. The kind that once were a prostitute, a street kid, grown up in a slum, had a horrific experience, etc. and their lives changed at some point. Like the story of Pastor Terry Gobanga, a woman who was kidnapped during her wedding day, raped by several men, one stabbing her in the womb rupturing it. Thus, robbing her the opportunity of ever becoming a mother. She later lost her husband briefly into the marriage. Termed as a cursed person, she then finds love. Gets married and God gives her the opportunity to become a mom beyond all odds. Such gives me hope and shows there is hope after tragedy.
The story of a man makes his worth more admirable. All of us or at least some of us have been through a harrowing experience according to our perspective, but what we make of ourselves determines who we are. You can decide either to allow the moment to define you, or you define the moment.
I for one hate any form of duress in my life. When we allow circumstances to determine who we are, it’s same as welcoming dictatorship in our life, some colonialism. At some point in my life, I held unforgiveness, and it negatively affected the happenings in the next couple of months going to more than two years of my life. Out of that, guilt and all manner of self-condemnation cropped up. It clouded my ways and affected what I felt I did and didn’t deserve. Depression was an acquaintance and at some point suicide came close to an option. When I was finally able to let go of that, and most of all forgive myself, I found meaning to life and it could have never been better.
Moments are not supposed to determine neither enslave you. You are to emerge a victor rather than a victim out of that. One slogan that keeps me going is “This too shall pass.” Just like the bible says you will never be tempted above that which you can handle. I believe in that. Anything that comes your way, you are able and have the strength to overcome it. Lift up yourself, shake off the dust and fight until you can come out of that circumstances. That too shall pass. Life is much more than a situation that wants to control and steal your joy. You are stronger than you can imagine. Fight, fight to stand up. If you can’t do it by yourself, hold on to what is next to you and get back up again.
Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.
Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.
Am a firm believer of the phrase “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. At times, you look at yourself, and you wonder what the hunk of a person or a beautiful woman saw in you… I know that is opened for discussion but all in all it depends on whom you chose to be your beholder. Who you allow to be the determiner of your inner beauty determines how you carry yourself on a daily basis.
I remember growing up I used to be a hefty kid, and it never bothered me until I got to secondary school and heard people make fun of my physic. To make matters worse, I was the kind of kid with chubby cheeks- you can get the picture. It went from just a teacher wanting to pinch the ‘tu cheeks’ in primary school even when you were not wrong to someone actually making fun of how they looked. All my mom’s talk of how beautiful I was, flushed down the toilet. My self-esteem concerning my body went down the drain in a flash.
After my morning studies, I would open this channel on telly (don’t exactly remember which one) and do aerobics at 5 a.m. and whatever exercise they had. I would starve myself and never did I lose the weight (not trying to crush anyone’s effort). After high school, hearing some inspirational speakers (Joyce Meyer, Paula White, TD Jakes) for about two years, my self-esteem was boosted, and I can’t even tell you how I lost weight. All I remember is that I used to walk to my destinations, and I lost the weight. Nowadays a day or two of exercise will show because I lose the weight. Like recently I took to some exercises (walks and a session at the gym), and I was surprised that a trouser which I had to struggle with to wear could not hold without a belt.
My point is, in as much as beauty is essential and exercise is healthy what determines your success at it is who you are doing it for. As Joyce Meyer’s book, Battle Field of the Mind says, the battle begins in the mind. If you can win it there, it doesn’t take much effort on the outside. One, let YOU be the beholder, determine your perspective of beauty then with or without the weight you will be happy. Who determines your going to the gym? The decision to lose weight must be your own for you to succeed at it. When you do it for others, the pressure would be too much and even when you lose a little it would never be good enough.
All my life I wanted to lose weight for the wrong reasons, but when I finally decided to love myself and do it for me, I began losing it effortlessly. Whether you have more in the bony areas than some of us, what matters is your view of beauty. See yourself as beautiful, and then exercise will be a fun part of your life. It will be more of “am doing it to be healthy, take care of myself”. Not that “am doing it to make them like me”. Love yourself today and take care of you for the right reasons you will be surprised at how much you will achieve.
I believe in woman empowerment. I believe as women we have the power to make or break our destiny. In spite of how we perceive ourselves, we have the power needed to change the course of our lives. All we need to do is do more than make excuses.
We fall short of confidence in ourselves sometimes. Cope with mediocrity just because we are scared to take a leap. Maybe a leap of faith or a leap to our desired destiny. I’ve come to learn that all it takes is a simple step. A mere act of faith. Faith in something bigger than us. Yes, faith in a bigger entity than ourselves. Faith in the strong arms of our God (if you believe in His existence).
I long for the day that a woman would leap forward and refuse to be taken for granted. Refuse to partake in the shortcomings of others and refuse to make excuses on behalf of others. And just acknowledge that yes she is fearful. Afraid of the future, and the unknown. But yet have faith in herself to create a better tomorrow. Have faith that God will not leave her desolate.
I believe in the concept ‘the best is yet to come.’ In the sun shining brighter than the former days. Yes, the latter’s sun shines brightest. I got to have the pleasure of getting close to this young lady with two kids who against all odds decided to take a leap of faith and the sun shone and is still shining brighter than ever. Every time I look at her, I see strength, I envy and admire her persistence and her will to make a decision. It only takes a decision to change mediocrity and replace it with a worthy life.
Take a leap of faith today. Believe in yourself, believe in your God, but most of all love yourself, enough to reject any act of abuse especially that enabled by you. We are all accountable for ourselves.